I logged into Web Fiction Guide to post a review only to see a review from Donna Sirani for Unicorn Bait. Oh I was sorely tempted to put a hold on posting my review of The Next Generation by Wes Boyd and go read Donna's review, but I knew I wouldn't be able to just read Donna's review. I would then go to UB and look it over and consider what she said. So I forced myself to post my review and silently prayed it made sense and did someone somewhere some good, and then jumped back to Donna's review. She raises some very good points. I'm not willing to change how the story begins, but I probably should introduce some tiny little bit of exposition on what exactly is happening and introduce Naomi a little better.
I really appreciate and enjoyed the review, but what sucks is Donna asks a question I hadn't considered and don't address well in the story. It being: Where did Grandpa get the unicorn horn from? In my head, I figured it was just something he picked up in a yard sale and that's all, but Donna hints that it could've been an interesting avenue for the story to explore, but alas, I didn't explore it. I just let it be a plot construct. I can't make it a relevant story point now. The story is set. I'm not changing major plot points. I can't, not without rewriting the whole thing and that's something I'm determined not to do, but it's so tantalizing! No, will not be seduced.
I am rereading chapters though and grimacing at how raw they are. I was intent on just getting the action out. I need to go back and put more character stuff in.